When you don’t know exactly what you want, just head in the general direction of it.
I can’t tell you how much of my life I’ve spent wringing my hands, paralyzed to make the first move because I wanted everything to be perfectly planned out before taking any real action. What I’ve come to learn is that the planning is useful only insofar as it gives me confidence to take action. When I feel uninspired, the (insidious, seductive) temptation is to hold out until the planning part comes to me, forget about the action part.
But I’m starting to see that it works the other way.
Committing before you feel ready. Getting in the car and turning the key. Putting something on the calendar.
Erm… starting a blog article and seeing where it takes you…
That’s where the juice of life is, and that’s where the absolute joy of spontaneous creativity has room to flourish.
For me, it’s like this: Get your goddamn pen on the goddamn paper and stop running through your yoga sequences in your mind without moving your limbs in the freedom of spontaneous creation.
I think not doing that is what it means to stand in our own way. It’s getting so caught up in the human way of doing things that we’re totally forgetting about the true source of creation–brilliant, infinite source energy. It’s that connection to creativity that makes the hours fly by like witchcraft when we’re really into something. I’m sure you’ve had a time when you’ve gone days on little to no sleep, but somehow mystically feel this incredible spring of source energy bubbling up from your heart. Every now and then you realize you should feel much more tired than you actually do, but you don’t. You keep going, bursting into even brighter colors of divine inspiration and seeing it through with inspired action.
That’s the juice worth living for.
A while back, I simply went through through the motions of everyday life. Waking up, going to work, coffee run, knowing full well (and being fully self-conscious) of the fact that all my action was led by my brain.
But there’s something to allowing that to happen.
I focused on self-kindness and fastidiously applied the formula for change at the onset of self-mutilating thoughts. I knew in my heart that I was capable of divinely inspired action, so it was like a knife to the heart when I sadly took my dry bucket to the well-spring called Creativity, only to find the stones at the bottom sun-bleached. Parched as I was.
Yet I faithfully kept to my commitments. I showed up for my weekly volunteer teaching. I showed up to my work commitments. And I focused on celebrating the practice of just showing up.
It’s a hard thing to do in this society of crazy-driven individuals. It’s like if we’re not polishing our glossy and brilliant Kickstarter videos to plead our case in selling homemade gooey chocolate from jars, or Om Shakti candles, or Zombie Survival Apocalypse Sparkling Vampires Academy for Monsters boardgame… or whatever… we don’t have the right to take up space.
It’s so frustrating sometimes–especially if we fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to people even closer to home… People we know, whose houses, cars or jobs we envy.
That’s when all we need to ask of ourselves is to practice showing up for a while. Offering what we have to offer in the form of our time and energy. Doing good work.
As I dance with the idea of being OK not shooting for the stars all the time, I find that I have more space to see the impact I am making, instead of the impact I wish I was making. A heart-felt thanks from a colleague for work I’ve done on a project, or the glow of a post-Savasana student. As I learn to soak in the energy of the right now gifts, I open up space that moves me more directly along the path called My Ideal Life.
It astounds me how little we know about our own motivations, and the sheer raw energy that we’re all capable of. It’s learning how to unlock that energy that’s the trick.
It starts with just showing up.